You know how much it frustrates you that girls always seem to be attracted to the bad boys? You know, the ones that smoke, ride motorcycles, and wear leather jackets? Ok, maybe we’re not in the days of The Fonz anymore, but today’s women seem to be attracted to the jerk who goes to the bar for the sole purpose of waiting until he inevitably gets bumped and then shouting, “You wanna start somethin, bro?” before pushing the culprit to the ground, who he later finds out is a girl.
I could never understand why girls were attracted to this guy. That is, until Thursday night when I suddenly and inexplicably developed a man-crush on Julio Castillo. I know, I know, the name sounds familiar. Well, maybe this will refresh your memory:
Ooooooooooh yeah, he was the lunatic that launched a 94 mph fastball into the opposing dugout……and missed…..and sent a helpless, unsuspecting fan to the emergency room. Talk about a high hard one.
Apparently this is nothing new for Castillo, who has less control than a sex addict at the Playboy Mansion. Castillo has 47 walks in 90 career innings, and according to former Ivy League Player of the Year Marc Sawyer, who played with him in Boise last year, Castillo has absolutely no clue where the ball’s going. That can be quite an advantage for a guy who throws in the mid-90s. Guys fresh out of high school and college were inching into the back corner of the batter’s box shaking like Henry Roengardner.
The fear factor has allowed him to have success thus far in his young career…that is until Thursday when he started taking taking target practice on the Dayton Dragons’ helmets.
So all this begs the question, how on Earth is this guy my MCOW? Let’s start with the basics. I do not condone what this guy did in any way, shape, or form. As a fan and former player, I’ve seen my fair share of brawls and NEVER have I seen someone fire a baseball as hard as he can towards a human being.
It might even be understandable if Castillo was being charged by the batter, and in a state of panic and desperation he threw the ball at the charging Dragon. Ok, still uncalled for, but somewhat understandable.
What nobody can understand is while his teammates and opponents rushed out of the dugout, Castillo thought that his best move was to take a baseball and wing it towards the opposing dugout. I mean, was he actually trying to kill someone? That’s really the only logical explanation. He’s a contract killer. He was hired to take out one of the players in the Dayton dugout. He failed and sent a civilian to the hospital in the process.
I bet he’s being worked over by the Dayton police right now, trying to get him to give up his boss. Good luck, Castillo is probably giving them the Sammy Sosa “I don’t speak English” defense. Although from what I hear he actually can’t speak a word of English.
I know he should be suspended for the year by his team and deserves whatever legal punishment he gets, but for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about the guy. I guess it is the brash defiance of all reason and logic that intrigues me. Or maybe it’s the “Who else want some!?!?” look on his face after he throws the ball at the dugout. In any case, I don’t know why, but Castillo was the object of my affection this week.
Hopefully next week I’ll pick the nice guy who’s really been there for me during the hard times and never tries to force the issue. Or maybe I’ll just pick another A-Hole. Does Barry Bonds have a team yet?