I wish I was clever enough to come up with this scenario on my own, but…it actually happened.
After getting halfway through this article, I had to do a double-take and make sure I wasn’t reading The Onion.
Apparently, after making the unforgivable baseball mistake of pulling back his bunt attempt during a squeeze play, Seattle Mariners outfielder Eric “Byrnesie” Byrnes took strike three down the middle to ruin the M’s hopes for victory.
That’s bad enough, but the fun hadn’t even started yet.
So, Mariners GM Jack Zduriencik is walking back to the clubhouse, dejected after yet another loss, hoping to speak with his team. Suddenly he feels a gust of wind as a speeding vehicle moves past him.
What was it? Lance Armstrong? E.T.? Speed Racer?
Wrong…it was Byrnesie making a bee-line for the stadium exit on his bicycle.
Before Zduriencik even had a chance to address his team, Byrnesie was home free on his Huffy. Apparently Byrnes lives (or lived) close enough to the stadium to make daily trips on his two-wheeler.
Needless to say, Saturday’s charade, coupled with the fact that he had tallied three more hits than a dead guy this season, gave Zduriencik plenty of reason to release Byrnes. And he did.
Hey, look at it this way, at least Byrnes has another career waiting for him…
He’s got the hair for it.