Hope you all had a great holiday weekend…I know I did. Just in case you were too busy stuffing your face with turkey or showing your mother “how this thing works,” here are the weekend’s top stories…with some spin, of course.
- LeBron James insinuates contraction of Nets and T-Wolves. New Jersey bookies respond by insinuating the contraction of LeBron’s pinkies.
- Niners fire head coach Mike Singletary. San Francisco press conference microphones will miss being drenched in spit on Sunday evenings.
- Heat blow out Lakers on Christmas Day. No confirmation of the rumors that Pat Riley was seen stealing gifts from beneath the Lakers’ tree on the night of Christmas Eve.
- Eagles–Vikings game postponed due to heavy snow. Suck it up. My grandpa used to walk 8 miles to school in that.
- Marlins sign Ricky Nolasco to three-year extension. Marlins owner and CEO Jeffrey Loria: “Yeah…he’s really the best we can do without spending a lot more money…”