Sign This Cirque Du Soleil Performer To a Pitching Contract Immediately


The sequel to 'Eyes Wide Shut' was a lot more entertaining than the first one.

There have been plenty of horrible ceremonial first pitches in baseball history, including this monstrosity by John Wall a couple weeks ago, and a great first pitch is usually defined as one that makes it all the way to the plate without any major injuries to the thrower, the catcher, or any spectators in close proximity.

It’s rare that we see a pitch that actually impresses us, let alone shows us something we’ve never seen. Allow me to present unnamed freak of nature Cirque Du Soleil performer before last night’s Padres-Royals game at PETCO Park:

The best part is that after doing 18 somersaults in the air and landing on one foot, the guy throws a perfect strike down the middle. With as much as hitters complain about the “deception” in the windups of pitchers like Tim Lincecum and Jered Weaver, imagine the difficulty they would have with this guy?

If I were a GM I would offer him a contract immediately. Who needs to trade for K-Rod when you can pick this guy up for some bullpen help?

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