The biggest news of the NBA trading deadline isn’t a trade at all; it’s something called an ETO. If you’re like me then you thought an ETO was an awesome car from the 60s, but it turns out it’s actually an “early termination option.” Dwight Howard signed one today, officially surrendering his right to opt out of his contract and become a free agent after this season. Basically it means Howard will be on the Orlando Magic again next season and, unless he signs an extension, we’ll go through this whole glorious mess again a year from now.
As you know, there was furious trade talk in the weeks leading up to Howard’s decision, with the Magic exploring deals with the New Jersey Nets, Los Angeles Lakers, and even the Boston Celtics. TheSportSpin, however, has received exclusive information from sources familiar with the situation that one deal was just moments away from going through.
Late last night the Magic agreed in principle to send Dwight Howard to Mars in exchange for superhero time traveler John Carter.
Apparently the one-for-one deal was all set until Carter failed to receive clearance from Martian Jeddak Tars Tarkas.
Carter is known for his phenomenal leaping ability and power game, but there were concerns whether his abilities would translate once he got away from the low-gravity confines of Mars. There were also some questions about how he would fit in with his African-American teammates due to his apparent history with the Confederate Army.
Though there is no video of him on an actual basketball court, here is a one of Carter’s workout tapes. You’ll have to agree it’s quite impressive.