Category Archives: NFL

Miami’s QB Situation: Start Ryan Tannehill…And Stick With Him

When it came to addressing their quarterback need this off-season, the Miami Dolphins had plans to eat at a 5-star motherf**king steakhouse: at one point, they were the presumptive front-runners in the closely-watched Peyton Manning Sweepstakes. But, as we all know, Manning decided to take his aging-but-still-relatively-premium talents elsewhere (apparently because of his strong aversion to bath salt-induced cannibal face attacks).
As a backup, the Dolphins went down the block and considered trying that “new place everyone’s been talking about”. AND they totally air-balled on nabbing highly-touted free agent Matt Flynn.

The Dolphins are now stuck at a desolate, depressing I-95 exit choosing between McDonald’s, Wendy’s, and Arby’s, as they currently have an intriguing-because-its-so-dismal 3-way position battle between David Garrard, Matt Moore, and rookie Ryan Tannehill. Continue reading

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Chris Davis And The Greatest Out-Of-Position Performances Of All Time

Yesterday afternoon I was treated to one of the greatest endings to a baseball game I have ever seen. No, it wasn’t the playoffs. No, there wasn’t a dramatic walk-off homerun. No, it didn’t involve Bryce Harper. What made the Baltimore Orioles’ 9-6 victory over the Boston Red Sox yesterday so special is that by the end of it, the 17th inning, the two pitchers of record were both position players.

What made it even more special is that the Orioles first baseman Chris Davis not only picked up the win—the first for an American League position player since 1968—but he was also downright filthy. When a position player is called upon to pitch, you generally expect to see him throwing fastballs in the low 80s, maybe mixing in a slow curve or a bad slider just to mix things up. Continue reading

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From Junior To Jered: The Tragedy And Jubilation Of Sports

I was in my car on my way to work yesterday afternoon when I heard the news about Junior Seau. I was listening to Jim Rome around 11:45 a.m., near the end of his show, when he usually takes the time to recap what he talked about for the previous hours. But yesterday, of course, the final fifteen minutes took on a somber and chilling tone.

He relayed that Seau was being reported as dead from an apparent suicide. As he read from different sources, it became clear to him and his listeners that this terrible tragedy had actually happened. Continue reading

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NFL Draft 2012: The Best And Worst Day Of Mel Kiper’s Year

The day after the Super Bowl, discussions about the NFL on television and radio turn immediately to the draft. And the coverage goes on…and on…and on…In fact, the NFL draft coverage was summed up beautifully by Phil Connors on a bleak February day: “It’s gonna be cold. It’s gonna be gray. And it’s gonna last you the rest of your life.” Continue reading

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Why Can’t The ESPN Commercial Creators Write Everything On Television?

The debate rages on about ESPN. While every sports fan gives thanks that there’s a network out there dedicated to 24/7 sports coverage (how else could we get our fix of the Lumberjack World Championships?), but some critics argue that the “Evil Empire” has created a monopoly on sports coverage that leaves us subject to their discretion, opinions, and bias.

While that is an important question to continue to ask as new all-sports networks come and go (yeah…CBS Sports Network…good luck with that…), there’s one thing everybody who watches ESPN can agree on: they make the funniest commercials of all time. Continue reading

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